If we were to survive and not be hurt again and again we had to think very carefully before trusting. Better not to trust anyone at all, not even yourself.

Did you hear that at boarding school? Was it directed at you? Was it directed at someone else?

Boarding school in the UK has often been seen as a mark of privilege — a strong start in life. Yet for many who boarded, the experience was not only educational but emotional and formative in ways few people talk about. The school became, in effect, a replacement attachment figure — a system that demanded loyalty, obedience, and endurance.

I was excited recently to discover Seen & Heard, a not-for-profit organisation dedicated to supporting boarding school survivors.

I went to boarding school from age 6 to age 12 in Malaysia….